David Lettermann - Pedophile or Psycho Stalker?

WARNING - CONTAINS GRAPHIC AND OFFENSIVE PARODY. DO NOT PROCEED IF UNDER 18 !!

This is more than likely a satire which would have no connection to any vile, narcissistic has-been TV hosts who use nightly hate speech and laugh about the thought of 14 year old children being raped. No connection at all.
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Professional psychoanalyst Dr. Rebecca Smallwood, today released her summary of the increasingly aberrant and aggressive behavior of late night television performer David Lettermann. Once thought by many to be a comedian of modest capablities, Lettermann began a downward slide both in ratings, and in behavior, just over one year ago.
"Many people who knew him at that time remarked that he was acting in an even more bizarre fashion than typical for him, making his wife wear plastic glasses like those worn by Alaskan Governor Sara Palin, when having marital relations. Neighbors said that they often heard Lettermann loudly wailing and begging his wife to "Squeal like a moose, please, please...!" He reportedly confided in a co-worker that he could never maintain an erection unless he visualized both Mrs. Palin and her husband in bed with himself and his wife. It was learned that the aging host had also taped dozens of pictures of Mrs. Palin throughout the main bathroom of his home, and according to his wife, he would spend hours in the bathroom at night, groaning and laughing in a falsetto voice, repeatedly uttering the phrase, "Whip me like a sled dog, whip me till I bleed!"

"Although it is not unheard of for men going through so-called 'male menopause' to exhibit strange behavior and even to develop fantasies and fetishes which are out of character, Mr. Lettermann's behavior became more and more bizarre and he began offering local paparazzi hundreds of dollars for any photographs that they could get of the Palin children. His odd, almost 'stalker-like' behavior went on steadily until the public became more aware of young Trig.

"He seemed more and more obsessed with Trig. Lettermann spiraled downward to the point of watching Tivo'd clips of the child while insisting that his wife feed him crunchy peanut butter out of disposable diapers as Lettermann fondled himself. His wife began plans to separate from him when he started insisting that she make baby talk while he looked at the videos and attempted to gratify himself," concluded the doctor.

The latest example of the man's rapid slide into utter depravity came from a trip to a local bus station. Telling his wife that he wanted to take their son to a ball game in Amsterdam, he bundled the child into a backpack, grabbed a videocam and rushed out the door before she could stop him.

Four hours later, Lettermann was spotted by local law enforcement at a bus station, offering to pay transient perverts five dollars to touch his son's genitalia while he made videos.
He offered to allow anyone who had one thousand dollars to rape the hapless child, adding, "Hey - at least he can't get knocked up like the Palin kids! Ha Ha Ha!!"

Charges are pending toward the disgraced host and former comedian. When asked for comment, the nearly bankrupt network on which his show appears, DCT, released the following statement:
"Although Mr. Lettermann may have possibly exhibited dubious taste in his personal behavior, we feel that his interactions with family members are a private matter and should not impact his professional career. Therefore, we are extending his contract. We are also in negotiations with a French network to allow them to premiere a new comedy pilot which David has proposed, a sitcom called "Bugger My Boy For Bucks!"